In all of the years I have been a runner, an outdoor-enthusiast, a goal-setter, I can’t remember a day without an objective.
Today was no different; I ate breakfast with the intent of beginning the Friday I’d planned all week. Starting with emails and a side of breakfast, my morning run, hitting the yoga studio, acupuncture, cleaning the house, more emails, calling my mom, more chores, mundane tasks and busy work to keep myself from sitting still.
But by the end of my oatmeal, I found myself compromising the distance I’d run, and time I’d leave the house. Dreading an easy eight-mile run, turned six-mile run, turned four-mile run.
If I run the BoBo Link Trail now, I’ll be able to get it in before acupuncture and avoid the heat.
But I ran BoBo yesterday
But then I’d have to do it in the afternoon, in the heat, and with sore post-needle legs.
I have to go to yoga at five
The truth is, I’m a laid off teacher mid-summer, in-between two flights out of DIA in the last week and enjoying three consecutive days home (the most time home since States). A “pro-runner” with a freshly signed contract but nothing on the calendar.
Today, I didn’t have to do anything, and it was confusing.
I made lists, and I made plans, but when it was time to peel my body off the carpeted floor in our living room, I told myself “five more minutes.”
Now it’s 4:47 PM and the only notable thing I’ve done today is wade through a pool of unread emails, and respond to people who deserved a response way before 4:47 PM this afternoon (sorry guys).
I’ve spent my time sitting, reading a book that has been collecting dust on my shelf, feeling the wind through my window, and listening to the afternoon rain hitting the driveway. Tonight, I’m grabbing beers and food truck tacos with the Rocky Mountain Runner’s for the final Friday of the month get together, and before bed, I think I’ll indulge myself in some Gilmore Girls.
So today I haven’t done anything worth writing in my training log and certainly haven’t done anything that would keep me fulfilled. But the fact that it’s now 5:01 PM and I’m OK with having done nothing is telling.
There is a reason that I, someone who cannot sit still until her to-do list has been seen through, was able to neglect a to-do list.
I’m tired. Not from running or overtraining (I hear you actually have to train to be overtrained), but from going through the motions of change in my life. From interacting. From reaching a new threshold of excitement.
I love this new life, but in this new life, I have to be sure to take care of myself before I take care of my endless to-do list. I didn’t have to run today. I didn’t have to do anything today. So I did nothing. How often does a day like this happen!??! Well, probably more often than I think. But what is not so frequent is a decision to take advantage of the down time, allowing myself to gear up for whatever’s next.
Today I realized that I need rhythm and routine to be my most productive self, but I also learned that days like today are as important as the ones spent in the high country and the classroom.
Rest of the body and the mind is necessary for me to recover fully.
Tomorrow I will be better for doing nothing notable today. A clean slate in my search for rhythm in this new life of travel and change.